symptoms of deppression-ikaw ano gagawin mo?

REPOSTING FROM MULTIPLY (posted Oct 15, 2008 12 am)

Under wikipedia's definition, Depression is a serious condition that affects a person's work, family and school life, sleeping and eating habits, and general health.A person suffering usually experiences a pervasive low mood, or loss of interest or pleasure in favored activities. Depressed people may be preoccupied with feelings of worthlessness, inappropriate guilt or regret, helplessness or hopelessness.[3] Other symptoms include poor concentration and memory, withdrawal from social situations and activities, and thoughts of death or suicide. Insomnia is common: in the typical pattern, a person reports waking very early and being unable to get back to sleep. Appetite often decreases, with resulting weight loss, although increased appetite and weight gain occasionally occur.[3] The person may report persistent physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, digestive problems, or chronic pain;

Now I know how Spears and Lohan fought terribly for this psycho-disease, who wanted to have one anyway? There are times that I am complacent that I am ok or everything will be ok, (easy for me to say) but when everything is quiet or when I'm alone I can't help to randomly think of guilt, regret, and worthlessness - then cry. I thought if I could talk to my friends, best friends, close friends, family even our priest in communion I could get better. I wanted to think positive and help myself. I wanted to be convinced I am healing. but each day sunod sunod ang blow and I can't help but get emotional again.

This morning nagpachek up ako sa opthalmologist(mata) and I was diagnosed of opthalmoplegic migraine which he said I got aside from maghapong nakatutok sa pc, I also got from depression, sobrang pag-iisip and stress. He said to help myself, but I AM TRYING. There are so many reasons I got this, I thought if I pray or sleep I could be healed, but it wasn't that easy. I already got the symptoms of depression: loss of interest, low appetite, poor memory, poor concentration, affected on work, and worst- thoughts of suicide.

Remember I got a problem from my first work? But I had friends and I left all good memories there. It's just that i am torn between my own goals and dreams that I decided to leave. I took for granted all the good things that my 1st work taught me, even though someone special tried to stop me. I lied to all of them that I am doing the right thing (equals is Guilt). I left there hoping I could start finding my dreams, but my dream job rejected me (equals failure). I got another job although pays well I didn't enjoy much (equals Worthlessness). I got a heartache because of a stupid misunderstanding (equals weight loss haha!). Dissappointment from myself & dissappointment from parents who expects something better (equals Insomia). All in ONE year!

It doesn't end there, A very close friend who serves as an inspiration, kuya and who taught me so much on life and career (our senior g.a on my 1st work) is leaving the country, He wanted to pursue his vocational career (serving as a Latin priest abroad). i know I can't stop him & no one can, it is already HIS DREAM (because I know no one can also stop mine). He already received his papers for the flight abroad. He asked me to come back to my 1st work with them so I could spend his last remaining days with him. I wanted so much to go back but I know I can't because of the work load I have here (2nd work).

I am living on oblivion, I can't go out. I don't know what to do. My heart keeps telling me to go back but I know in my mind it's not right. I already lost many things by leaving, that no matter what I do will never come back the way it was before.

When will the day come that I'll stop crying?, nauubos na ako, ngayon lang to nangyari sakin. Pang maalaala mo kaya ang drama hahah!