Tuesday, October 26, 2010

SONGS I WANT FOR MY WEDDING

1. when you look me in the eyes - Jonas Brothers

2. When i look at you - miley cyrus

3. You first believe - Hoki

4. i will take you forever - kris lawrence & denise laurel

RETRIVED BLOG POST FROM MULTIPLY#2: ReviewReviewReviewReview Basic oil pastel techniques, tips and a demonstration of some of the versatile ways in wh

Unlike other media, layers of pastels can not be built up indefinitely because the pigment adheres to the texture of the painting ground. Oil pastels feel like a soft pastel, but look and act like oil paints. Most commonly, the pure color of oil pastels are layered and blended using the same techniques as soft pastels.
Getting started: When choosing colors for your painting, work from light to dark. The first color will stain the paper, which creates a light base or underlay for your painting. If two colors are mistakenly blended together, layer white over the colors to neutralize them.
However, oil pastels are more versatile than soft pastels and can be used in a combination with a variety of media and techniques.
Combining with other media:
· Oil pastels can be used over oil paints if the paint surface is thoroughly dry. Apply retouch varnish to the dried oil paints to ensure that the pastels adhere to the surface.
· However, oil paints should never be used over oil pastels because oil pastels never dry out. The oil paints will not adhere to the underlying pastel surface. The exception to this rule is the use of a oil pastel wash on primed canvas as an underpainting. Oil paints may be safely painted over this initial layer.
· Oil pastels can be used as a resist with water-based mediums such as watercolor or acrylic because oil pastels will not mix with water-based paints.
· Use oil pastels in conjunction with colored pencils.
· They can be used with printmaking inks to create monotypes.
Techniques:
Oil pastels can be applied with a palette knife to achieve impasto effects. Oil pastels can be heated or melted to obtain a smoother, creamier or even fluid medium.

Basic oil pastel techniques, tips and a demonstration of some of the versatile ways in which this medium can be used.

Oil Pastel Painting

Oil Pastel Painting --the basic materials that you need to begin learning to paint with oil pastels.
Basic Oil Pastel Techniques On-line Painting Supply Resources
More Pastel Painting Resources
Oil pastel painting is one of the simplest and purest method of painting using pure color. Mineral and organic pigments are mixed with a non-drying binder, and then combined with wax. The colors are transparent and the color of your painting ground will effect the color of the pastel.
The keys to mixing pigments and achieving exactly the color you wanted is dependent on having a basic knowledge of color theory and experience -- regardless of the medium you use for painting.
Oil pastels feel like a soft pastel, but look and act like oil paints. They are less fragile than traditional pastels and can be used to create heavy impasto effects, or combined with oil painting mediums for glazing and wash techniques. Oil pastels never completely dry but can be sealed with fixative.
Very similar to soft pastels, the greatest advantage to artists is that unlike soft pastels, they do not create hazardous dust.
Oil pastels are sold in a variety of qualities, from student to artist grade. Buy a variety of colors because you will be working with pure color but try to limit yourself until you master the techniques of oil pastels. Using too many colors is one of the most common causes of muddiness in the paintings of beginners.
Basic Palette:


White Ivory Black Light Red
Vermillion Cadmium Reds Alizarin Reds
Burnt Sienna Phthalo Blue Ultramarine Blue
Cobalt Blue Cerulean Blue Raw Sienna
Raw Umber Burnt Umber Burnt Sienna
Yellow Ocher Cadmium Yellows Chrome Green
Phthalo Green Viridian Mars Violet
Oil pastels are often sold in sets featuring a full range of colors or smaller sets within a color family, e.g., raw umber, burnt umber, burnt sienna, yellow ocher, cadmium yellow deep. Color mixing is done on your painting ground, so a wide range of pure color is recommended.
Painting Grounds: One of the beautiful aspects of oil pastel paintings is texture. Typical painting grounds include:
· fibrous drawing (minimum 100-110 lb.) and watercolor papers (minimum 140lb.) with a slight texture
· museum board, illustration board, or any acid-free paperboard stock
· rigid supports such as wood, Masonite, glass, ceramics or metal.
· soft supports such as canvas of cotton, linen, or polyester can also be used although it is usually recommended that a coat of gesso be applied to the canvas prior to painting
· other natural and synthetic fabrics.
All papers should be acid-free to ensure the permanency of the painting. Papers are available in all weights but heavy papers will withstand heavier applications of pastels, more vigorous blending and are a more stable surface if you plan to include other media or use mediums in your oil pastel painting.
Other Materials:
· paper blender, pastel shaper, brushes or cotton balls for blending
· soft hair brush to brush away excess pastel particles from your painting
· oil pastel extender -- a colorless oil pastel which will blend smooth color transitions
· oil painting mediums such as turpentine, paint thinner, or oil painting oils to produce glazing, scumbling, or wash effects.
· palette knife for impasto techniques
Fixative: To protect an oil pastel surface from dirt and dust, apply a fixative 8 to 10 days after the work is completed. Spray your painting on a flat level surface such as a table or floor, in a well-ventilated area. The fixative will not dry the work. A final varnish spray can be applied to seal the surface permanently, but this may adversely affect future restoration possibilities.
Storage: Oil pastels should not be subjected to extreme temperatures. The ideal storage temperature is 75º. For optimum performance while painting on location, avoid exposing oil pastels to heat, sunlight or cold -- covering the pastels with a towel will give them protection from the elements.
Toxicity: Use fixatives, and paint, adhesive or varnish sprays in a well-ventilated area or while wearing a respirator mask.

Different techniques in the art of pastel drawing

Pastels are one of the most immediate and satisfying mediums to work in. They are, in

essence, sticks of pure pigment held together with glue binding. There are different grades

of pastel depending on the strength of the binding. It is essential to experiment with different

degrees of hard or soft pastels if one is to understand the medium, Very different effects

can be created with hard as opposed to soft pastels.


Soft pastels are made with artist's pigments that are mixed with a solution of gum

tragacanth or gum arabic. Hard pastels are made with the some pigments, but contain more

gum binder. Hard pastels also have the advantage of being able to be sharpened and

shaped to achieve more precise effects. One can also buy pastel pencils that are encased in

wood. These pencils can also be used with watercolor and for detailed drawing techniques.

Supports


Texture is a crucial element in choosing a support, as the pastel needs "tooth" or textural

areas on which to adhere to. There are a number of surfaces on which you may choose to

work, including pastel boards and paper. However, almost any surface that has sufficient

texture can be used, including canvas. One of the disadvantages of pastel papers is that the

texture may be shallow and a second or third layer of pastel may not adhere well to the

paper. Of course, the choice of a surface depends to a large degree on the subject matter

and the style of the envisaged pastel work. If you are considering a simple sketch then

a daily smooth surface will do. If, on the other hand, you wish to create a work that has

color and spatial depth, you may need to choose a support with a more intense texture


Making your own support for pastel


Here is one method of making a surface for pastel drawing that can be adapted to your

needs. Take a piece of hardboard or strong paper and cover it lightly with wood glue or an

acrylic adhesive. Before the glue dries, take some fine sand and sprinkle it over the paper

and glue. The amount of texture that you wish to achieve can be regulated by the amount of

sand you apply to the surface. Once the glue is dry, take the support and tilt it so that the

excess sand falls off. A textured surface remains on

which you can start drawing. You can even take sandpaper at this stage to even out or

reduce the textured surface.


Creating a colored background


A pastel painting if often enhanced by beginning with a wash of color as an underling

background to your drawing. Choose the color of this wash carefully as this color will

serve to "pull" the different elements of the drawing or painting together. For example, a

warm color like orange can be used to give an overall tone and mood to your drawing. The

underpainting can be allowed to show through the final drawing, and in this way, a sense of

unity can be achieved in the composition of the work.


One of the easiest ways to create a background is to crush some soft pastel into it power

form and to mix this with water. This essentially makes a watercolor wash and a large

brush can be used to spread the color on the surface. Alternatively, a normal wash of

acrylic or watercolor can be used. One can also create a background by rubbing the dry

pastel into the surface of the support with a cloth. This tends to give a very smooth and

even texture to the background.


Drawing techniques


Pastel sticks are normally used in the same way that you would hold a pencil. You can also

draw with the sides of a pastel for broad strokes. Pressure is all-important in practicing

pastel techniques. The amount of pressure that you apply on the paste will determine the

richness and depth of the pastel color. I suggest that you experiment with pastels on

different grades of paper and various supports, until you have become used to the way in

which pastel adheres to the surface under different conditions. Experimentation with pastel,

using hatching, dabbing and other techniques cannot be overemphasized. Many artists find

pastels difficult simply because they have not spent the time to become acquainted with the

medium.


There are two basic drawing techniques to begin experimenting with. The first is to use the

point of the pastel and experiment with line and degrees of line thickness. The second is to

use sides of the pastels and create short sharp marks known as hatching marks.


Layers


Pastel work achieves its depths and wonderful glowing quality from the application of

layers of pastel pigment over each other. Each layer adds to the overall richness. Layering

means that you add a layer of form or color to a previous layer. Usually with soft pastel,

the layer that is being covered over has to be "fixed". This means the layer has to be

sprayed with some form of fixative so that the next layer will not disturb the powdery pastel

to any great extent. When starting with pastel have a look at some of the great pastel

masters, like Degas. You will notice the rich texture and the depth of some his works.

Degas used the layering technique extensively and is also said to have used a special

binding liquid, partly made from tealeaves, to achieve his effects.


As discussed, the support you use should have enough texture, or " tooth" to hold the

layers of pigment. However, as one builds up layers of drawing and color it often happens

that the texture of the support is not sufficient and the pastel power begins to fall off the

support. In this case special fixatives are needed which are produced by all major art

manufacturers to

" fix" or adhere the layer of pigment to the support. These fixatives are sprayed on, but a

word of caution here. Use fixatives sparingly. There are a number of reasons for this.

Firstly, the beginner is inclined to want to fix his or her drawing too often. Fixatives can also

detract from the natural beauty of the pure pigment and, if sprayed too harshly, will tend to

darken the natural colors. Each and every pastel drawing should be given a light fixative

spray on completion in order to preserve the work. Try to avoid the use of fixatives if you

can by preparing or choosing a support that has sufficient texture.



Soft edge and hard edge


Another technique that is often used in Pastel drawing and painting is to soften the edges of

object to give the illusion of space and distance. Foreground details would be treated with

a more hard-edge technique. In other words, the artist would emphasize the outlines of the

foregrounded figures with distinct outlines, while blending the edges of distant objects.


Blending


Blending and manipulation of pigment is part of the beauty of this medium. Pastel is a very

direct medium and a number of methods can be used to create transitions of shape and

color very easily. A special tool called a torchon, which is tightly rolled paper usually

ending in a point, can be used to make subtle blends. Pastel can be blended easily using

tissue or even the fingers to achieve subtle gradations of shape and color very quickly.


It should not be forgotten that, although pastel colors are usually applied directly onto the

rface in using the pastel sticks, one can also mix pastel colors using the same principles as

in oil or acrylic. For example, one can blend red and yellow immediately on the surface of

the support to achieve various shades of orange. A major part of the attraction of pastel is

this immediacy and innovation that occurs pontaneously as one draws and paints in this

versatile medium.

Painting with pastels
Pastel as an art medium for drawing has some advantages. This article serves to introduce the basics of pastel drawing and painting.

How can one paint in pastel when pastel is essentially a medium used for drawing? The answer to this question lies in understanding the richness and versatility of pastel.

Firstly, pastels are essentially sticks of pigment of powdered color held together by a binding medium. This turns it into a stick of color. There are a great range of pastels with dry pastels being the most common type There are also different grades of pastel form very hard to soft. A soft pastel is the best to begin with as it allows the most drawing flexibility.


What do you need to begin?

Firstly, you should have a fairly wide range of colors. Although you can mix colors as you do in painting, yet most brands offer a huge range of different colors and shades and one needs a variety of these colors to begin. A suggestion is to buy the basic colors, red, blue while, black, blue yellow umber, ochre and sienna and add different shade to these as you need them.


Next you need something to draw or paint on. The usual support for pastel is pastel paper manufactured by many well-known suppliers. This is good quality paper with a slight texture. The texture is important as this is what " holds" the pastel powder to the surface. You can use smooth paper for pastel work, but this will not be able to retain the same amount of pastel and your work might look a bit thin. Watercolor paper can also be used for pastel as this usually also have varying degrees of texture. One could even make one's own paper by using cheap cardboard and white glue. Bu rubbing the glue on the cardboard and then pouring fine sand on the surface a very durable surface is created. Turn the cardboard upside down after a few minutes letting the excess sand fall off. Once the glue has dried one is left with a textured surface that can easily retain pastel. However, to begin with purchasing ready-made pastel paper is possibly the best method as this allows you to begin exploring pastels right away.


To stretch or not to stretch


One can begin by placing the paper on a board with a clip. This is the " dry" method. However, if you were to wet the paper then it would curl and not be suitable for framing. The other method is to stretch the paper on a piece of hardboard that is a few inches larger than the paper. First of all, wet the paper by dipping it into a bowl or bath of water. Do not soak the paper, but ensure that it is equally wet throughout its surface. This causes the paper to expand. While wet, take the paper and lay it on the hardboard. Take some packaging tape, wet the sticky part of the tape and attach the sides of the paper to the board. The paper should now be firmly attached to the board along the entire length of its four sides. The paper will dry and shrink so that it pulls taught and will form a flat surface that can be worked on with water mediums.


Painting


Pastels are usually worked using the dry technique. In other words, begin by sketching your subject with the black and then work into the subject with the other pastels. To achieve intermediate tones use your finger or a tissue paper to spread and mix the pastels on the paper. You begin painting with pastel when you introduce brush and water. Wet your brush very slightly and apply to the paper. You will see that the wet brush acts just like watercolor and blends and moves the pastel power around. This technique takes some time to get used to and you should not wet your brush too much until you have become accustomed to the way that the pastel and water react together.

Another way of painting with pastel is to use other mediums such as watercolor and acrylic. Make a wash of acrylic or watercolor in a small bowl and using your brush apply this to parts of the pastel. Once again this takes a lot of time and experimentation to get used to and you should expect a few " mistakes" at first. You will soon begin to see how versatile and expressive pastel can be.


Finishing your Work


Pastel is essentially powder and is therefore very vulnerable to the elements. Framing under glass is essential for all pastel works. You should also " fix" your pastel before framing. This means applying a medium that ensures that the layers of pigment do not fall off the paper. There are many sprays and fixatives specifically designed for pastel work. Apply a gentle spray of fixative to you painting before framing. Once it is firmly mounted and framed under glass, you will be astounded by the rich depth that a pastel painting can produce.

RETRIEVED BLOG FROM MULTIPLY#1: count your birthday blessings

Posted Jun 26, '08 10:44 AM

Bago matapos ang araw ng birthday ko, gusto ko munang magpasalamat kay Papa God hindi lang sa mga bagay na natanggap ko pati mga biyayang hindi material. Una sa lahat natupad ang 3 wishes ko:
1. makatanggap ng flowers (hindi lang yun me surprise cake pa ako!)
2. makapag dinner with the barkada
3. makumpleto kami sa hapunan with family
pero hindi lang yan ang natanggap ko:
- binati ako ni special someone, siya ang unang nanggising sa akin (sana yung former special someone igreet din ako)
- may letter ako at gift galing sa super close friend-sister-Joanie
- nilibre ako ni Kenneth ng sundae ice cream ng Mc Do
- naka date ko si Karlow kar kar de barlow (sabay kami nag lunch wala pa kasi sila Joanie at Juno)
- ang 4 na J sa may beato ay bumati sa akin (Justine David, Joanie Ann, Juno, John Karlo)
- binati ako ng mga highschool friends ko sa friendster at text
- kahit papano me work at still surviving
- nagplay ng song na "Happy Birthday" sa office nung pagpasok ko at holos lahat sila ang tanong "saan tayo mamaya???" (what? panu nila nalaman!?)
- ginreet ako ni Angie, Joanie, Karlo, CG, Nazi, Juno, Aura (ang babaeng nakarating lang ng makati hindi na alam kung saan ang espana mcdo!), Noah, Rose Anne, Rose, Auch, JAs, Cyd, etc

Sobra sobra nga eh, nakakatawa kasi hanggang pag-uwi ko yung mga tao sa jeep nakatingin sa akin kasi nakangiti ako hanggang pagbaba.

Salamat sa araw na to


Before the day of my birthday ends, I just want to give thanks to Papa God not just for the material things I received, but also the non material blessings bestowed on me. First of all, my 3 wishes came true:
1. I received boquet of roses ( also a surprise cake!)
2. dinner with friends
2. dinner with the whole family
surprisingly, I was also blessed with:
- a morning birthday greeting with special someone ( i hope the former will greet me too)
- letter and gift from close friend - Joanie
- free Mc Do sundae ice cream from Kenneth
- lunch date with John Karlow Barlow de Kar Kar
- birthday greeting from 4 J (Justine David, Joanie Ann, Juno, John Karlo)
- birthday greeting from highschool friends (text & mail)
- still a survivor from work
- a "Happy Birthday" song was played when I came at the office, they all asked where to celebrate! (shocked that they knew!)
- greetings from close friends here and somewhere!

Blessings poured, too much from what I had ask for. Jeepney passengers gave me weird look because my face was like -> until I got home.

thank you for this day.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Life they say, must go on!Ayt!

What is happening to my life? Is it so boring? am I craving for adventure? I am 22years old already and rushing for the "lacking" parts in my life. I am so bored and I only felt numbness, regret, pessimistic views, undecissive, and most of all stuck.

Naiinggit ako kay joanie, bakit ganun ang layo-layu na nya? Bakit ba hinahanap hanap ko siya? Did I left some missing parts of me on her? Irealllly don't understand.

And dami kong naiisip like mag business, freelance, maghanap ng boyfriend. ZThey all lead to nothing and they all are supported with money.

Why am I always frustrated with my work? is it because I am not contented? I feel so ashamed with my friends because di na ako nawalan ng reklamo tungkol sa work!

I am busted. I busted my own self. Alam na ng lahat, after 1 year and 7 months, that I am still seeking for work.

shame on me!

Monday, January 11, 2010

feeling lighter today

most of the time talaga ako ay may manic depression, but today im so happy kasi binigyan ako ni kuya paolo ng "kikay na duck na bolpen tumatayo" hehe

i feel special today, pati nung binigyan ako ni ate paula ng flower na stuff toy na kulay purple. gusto ko lang isave tong mermory na to kasi baka makalimut na naman ako kapag nadepress na naman. I'm just thankful that I am still blessed. (thank you from above)

Sunday, December 27, 2009

GOOD MEMORIES ON ADWRX

I don’t want to forget them, kahit papaano I have good memories with them

Aug 27, 2009, Thursday - I came back home galing hongkong. I gave Paul & Kuya Myke T-shirt, paul (black) & kuya (pink) & the rest is chocolate. Pumasok na ako agad. Umupo si Paul a seat ko para magburn ng files at ako sa seat nya for the mean time. Umalis sandali si kuya myke at kami na lang ni kuya pao ang natira.Kuya Paolo said:
Kuya Pao: hi rozelle! How are you today?
Ako: I’m fine. Bakit?
Kuya Pao: this might sound cheezy but it is so good to have you back here
Ako: tsss… plastik (sabay ngiti kasi natouched)
Kuya Pao: yabang nito!
Inulit ulit ni kuya Pao nung andun na si kuya myke. Medyo hindi ko narinig lahat kasi humarang si kuya myke.
Kuya Pao: rozelle…
Ako: hmmm? Ano?...
Kuya Poa: thank you. Sarap ng pasalubong mo. We’re so happy you’re here
Ako: shut up!

***

8:55am Aug 31, 2009
Kuya Myke: maraming salamat sa t-shirt na pasalubong… ang lupet ng pagkapink at ng unggoy  thnx ulit.
Ako: sorry a, di ata kasya sa iyo… pink para kumulay naman ang buhay mo, lagi ka na alng kasi naka itim. Hehe
Kuya Myke: (9:54am) gumaganun pa. multicolor nga mga shirts ko dati… kc sarili ko print dati para unique… may magenta pa nga ako dati at fuschia eh. Nway. Tnx2 ulit. 
Ako: un naman pala e… sige lang suutin mo un walang masama dun. You’re welcome!

***

Kasagsagan ng Ondoy at nagpanick kasi darating na raw si Peping kaya pinauwi na kaming maaga. Oct 2, 2009, may sakit ako: ubo+sipon nung mga panahaon na to.
Oct 2, 2009 5:43pm ngtext si kuya myke
Kuya Myke: doble ingat po. Nandito na ang bagyo. God Bless.
Ako: Ingat din kuya, wala ka pa namang payong. 
Ewan ko ba kung doble send nun pero tinext nya ulit same message 6:09pm

***

Natouched ako nung bumili ako ng electricfan at nasugat si papa kasi lumipad yung elesi. Mula starmall papunta crossing binuhat ni Paul yung box. Hehe  thank you Paul!


***

Ghie text message Aug 16, 2009
Fill this up for me:
Ano ako sayo: GOOD FRIEND
Gusto mo sa akin?: TOTOO, GOOD ADVISER
Ayaw mo sa akin: KAPAG NABABADTRIP
Name ko sa cp mo?: ADWORKS ROZELLE
Song for me?: TRUE FRIEND
Describe me: MOODY, KIND & SARAP KULITIN
Want to ask: CRUSH MO SI JOJO ANO?
Message for me?: THANX SA MGA ADVICES. KAYA NATIN TO.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

stupid me, stupid heart

ayan pahiya ka no? yun ang sabi ko sa sarili ko kahapon ng malaman ko na may girlfriend na pala sya. stupid me, why do i have to allow myself to believe that he likes me?! putang ina! putang ina talaga!

tanga tanga ng puso ko! pero bat ganun, para saan yung mga pasikretong tingin nya sa akin> imbento ko lang ba yun? nagiilusyon na naman ba ako? bullshit talaga yung taong yun o! di ko maintindihan!!! tanga tanga!

kaya ngayon don't ever talk to him, talagang let him feel he doesn't exist. kakaloka!

tapos kahapon lang na snatch ako akala ko me cae sya! bwiset talaga ako!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

1st time kong rumaket

kahapon finally nagawa ko na rin maexperience ang rumaket! and I was paid for only P800. I felt weird ksi I don't like the feeling na inaabutan ako ng pera, kaso pinaghirapan ko naman yun kaya ok na rin.

Sana makaraket ako ulet sa sususnod!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Dating Tips: 4 Relationship Rules You Should Break

Rule #1: You can't check out anyone else
Why you should break it: You're in a relationship; you're not dead. So when you're walking down the street and spot a piece of eye candy, go ahead and give yourself permission to do a double take. Noticing the scenery isn't a sign that your guy doesn't do it for you anymore. "It's human nature to be attracted to other people," explains Los Angeles psychotherapist Lynn Ianni, PhD.
That's not to say that it's cool to blatantly ogle every XY chromosome owner that crosses your path, even when your boyfriend isn't by your side. "It's important to respect your significant other, so you don't want to be too obvious or make a habit of looking," says Marcella Bakur Weiner, PhD, coauthor of "The Love Compatibility Test." Obviously, there's a difference between staring slack-jawed and simply appreciating a nice view.
On the flip side, however, you have to understand that your guy isn't blind either. If you see that he notices some chick, as long as he's not outright drooling over her, don't make a big deal out of it. You can even score points with him by joining in and saying something like, "Oh, she's cute," advises professional counselor Roger Rhoades of Carolina Counseling in Greenville, South Carolina. "Acknowledging that another woman is attractive makes you seem confident, which only adds to your own appeal."
Or do what Stella,* 29, does with her guy. "My boyfriend and I like to play this game we call Hot or Not, where we people-watch and rate all the passersby," she says. "It's a fun way for both of us to ogle hotties without driving each other crazy. Plus, it gives us interesting insight into each other's taste."
*Names have been changed.
Rule #2: You have to give each other the play-by-play of your day
Why you should break it: You already know it's not cool to attach yourself to his hip. Well, the same thing goes for drawing him a mental map of your daily grind. "The Cliffs' Notes version of your day is actually more effective. Then move on to more mutually interesting topics, like current events or a movie you want to see," says Rhoades.
So when you two hook up after work, how do you know if you're giving TMI? Follow this rule of thumb: "Fill your guy in on the things that elicited an emotional response from you," says Ianni. For instance, if someone got fired and you're afraid you'll be next, or if you're psyched because you learned your sister's pregnant, go ahead and share. "Then, skim over the stuff that didn't have a profound effect."
Also, keep in mind what you know he finds interesting and what will make his eyes glaze over. If hearing about office gossip is about as torturous to him as getting a root canal, spare him the dirty details. He'll be more into communicating with you if you're both on the same page.
Rule #3: You have to resolve every conflict
Why you should break it: Forget the old adage that you should never go to bed angry. Despite your feminine urge to fix a problem now, it often pays to sleep on it -- or drop the matter completely. "Women are oriented toward harmony and balance in relationships, so they often try too hard to analyze and repair an argument, which isn't always possible and can even exacerbate the issue," says Ianni.
What is important when you don't see eye-to-eye is being able to communicate your feelings. "If you bottle up your emotions, you set yourself up for a far worse explosion later," says Ianni. But speaking your mind doesn't necessarily mean finding a tidy resolution.
Take it from Erin, 28, who was sick of battling with her fiance about her future monster-in-law. "Greg's mother is a pain," she says. "I can't stand her, and I would take my anger out on him. But I realized that I wasn't being fair. She's his mother. What can he do? So now I complain to him when she upsets me, but I don't blame him for her behavior. I guess it's something I'm going to have to learn to live with."
As Erin found out, there are some disagreements that can't -- or shouldn't -- be fought to the finish. "Let smaller conflicts go and focus on working out the ones that involve your core values and life goals," says Rhoades. For example: If your guy's leave-the-dishes-in-the-sink habit bugs you, suck it up. He is probably an inherent slob and isn't likely to change. However, if he keeps blowing his paycheck on unnecessary big-ticket items while you want to save up to buy a house together, that's a point of contention you should hash out.
Rule #4: You need to deep-six your exes
Why you should break it: There's no reason to cut off contact with someone you genuinely care about. Just because it didn't work out romantically between the two of you doesn't mean you have to wind up hating each other. "You date someone who has qualities that you appreciate and enjoy," says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of "Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong." "Even if you didn't succeed as a couple, you might still like each other as friends."
However, there are certain codes of behavior that you need to respect. First, keep the camaraderie casual. "Make a conscious effort to refrain from doing anything that would make your current boyfriend feel threatened or jealous," says Rhoades. In other words, it's okay to meet your ex for a quick cup of coffee; it's not okay to get together for an hours-long romantic dinner.
Secondly, make sure it's clear to your new man that you no longer have any romantic feelings for your ex. One way to do that: Have a threesome...in the platonic sense. Instead of getting together with your old beau solo, invite your boyfriend along once in a while. "The fact that you're including him shows that you and your ex really are just friends and have nothing to hide," says Rhoades. They might even like each other. But even if they don't become buds, at least you will have averted any potential problems.
Just remember, keeping ties with old lovers works both ways. If you want to maintain relationships with your exes, you have to be understanding if your current guy wants to do the same.
Love Laws That Bombed
In hindsight, these couples realized their dating mandates were moronic.
"It's corny, but I wanted my voice to be the last thing my boyfriend heard each day, so I had him call me every night before he went to bed. Too bad he's a night owl and always wound up waking me." --Sasha, 19
"Before we moved in together, I negotiated a deal with my girlfriend that allowed us each to have one fling a year. It sounded like a great plan, until she acted on it. So much for my bright idea." --Dave, 34
"Sam and I promised to always be truthful. But after a few weeks, I got sick of hearing how he didn't like my new haircut or how my friend was pissing him off. Sometimes ignorance is bliss." --Tanisha, 25