I don’t know when or how, but I am starting to hate myself again. Maybe it all started because of my frustrations. First because I planned my summer this year so well by preparing my resume and applying for “summer jobs” & “OJT”. But all ended without anyone wanting me & giving me a chance. I am trainable & really hard working- if I’m really on it. They never gave me a chance to prove it.
Second because of Nicole, who barged into our life without full notice that is pesting me & really aggravates me. She is the daughter of our house-keeper (in short katulong) Naapektuhan na ako psychologically at emotionally. Sobrang naiinis ako kahit boses lang nya, kahit lumapit lang sya sa akin gusto ko na syang durugin. Kaya pinariringgan ko na alng sila mag ina. Sobra na ako no? pati ako natatakot na rin sa sarili ko. Pero ito kasi ang defense mechanism ko para mapaalis ko sila dito!
Third, yung lalaking gusto ko, once again de javu. Wala na naming nangyari. My sister told me na wala naman akong alam sa love life because I never experience on, then it strucked me – wala nga naming nanliligaw sa akin. Siguro ayoko narin, parang nakapaste na sa mukha ko na “Warning, Boys out of the way!”
Fourth, ang taba taba ko na talaga ngayong bakasyon. Naiinis ako kapag me mga bagay na hindi ko talaga matanggap lalu na kung sa appearance ko. Everyone thought na wala akong pakiaalam sa sarili ko. Pero mali silang lahat, hindi yun totoo.
